You are feeling pretty primped and put together for the office, home or time on the town. Your tailored slacks give you a no-nonsense finish to the rest of your whimsical outfit. And you think you look hot.
Classy hot.
Oh look! I dropped my keys, I will need to bend over and pick them up. Still classy hot, but unfortunately only in your head. Everyone else can't take your eyes off the giant, lumpy squares cast by your pocket bags and all of their contents on your well-displayed butt.
This is unacceptable and must be solved. We're on it.
Brainstorming Brilliance
The ideas began to flow.
- Step one: Contemplate the merits of pockets.
- Step two: What are alternatives to pockets?
- Unsightly bulges are gross. What about sightly bulges? Can we make use of things that we would like to bulge, i.e. bosoms and butts? We contend the arm region is also sorely under-represented in the pocket arena. Thus the formed shape pocket idea was born.
- Considering the potential disadvantages of a sightly bulge appearing suddenly, we discussed graduated shape-enhancing storage devices.
- Could we create some type of pannicular in-body pocket, like a kangaroo, or the cheek pockets of a hamster? This would require consultation with a plastic surgeon, so we put this idea on hold.
- The concept of a uni-pocket was born. A totally tubular space that connects Pocket A to Pocket B, with the possible added benefit of compression and smoothing of undesired bulge-osity.
- Then, the magic happened. Why not disentangle the pocket from the pocket substrate? Pockets need no medium in which to be embedded!
The Idea
Create an infinity scarf with an opening that can be used to store critical items for your day. And add class not lumpy ass.
The Prototype
The team immediate got to work to construct the prototype. All that was available was fox-clad fleece, so basically Grade A materials. Unfortunately the working conditions were a little sketchy. We had a single, rusty needle. A temperamental sewing machine. But since we had all had mimosas with breakfast, we were not deterred.
A hasty construction mistake was turned into an intentional "mobius" scarf detail that added additional je ne said quoi flair. Fortunately, fleece buttonholes require only a minimal cut and new stitching, so we added buttons to our pocket slot to keep our precious items from spilling out of our lovely scarf. Here are the results:
"Sunny, help me figure out how to stitch the ends together" -Amber
By Jove, this pocket will work!
Haven't you always wanted to tote your hard boiled eggs?
Emergency tampon storage!
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| Are those Lipsmackers in your foxy scarf? Why yes. |
This scarf can accompany you on all your daily tasks, like vacuuming.
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